Habits and behaviors that can damage your self-esteem

There are several factors that impair your ability to appreciate what you do and value who you are. One of the most important of these is having been raised in a family environment where the self-love of its members was scarce. Parents with a poor idea of ​​themselves generally convey the same belief to their children.

Lack of self-esteem in parenting is manifested as mistreatment, emotional and / or physical distance, excessive criticism, disqualification or indifference. There is no recognition of the child’s personal value. Without realizing it, children learn that their feelings and needs are not that important for the people that are very important to them.

This situation triggers a series of associated events. Those who have little self-esteem are more exposed to abuse outside the home: they don’t know how to defend themselves and aren’t sure that they have the right to do so. They also tend to have a less adequate level of performance in their jobs. They usually get distracted easily and they fear triumph.

In adulthood, many continue to cultivate habits to cope with their lack of self-love that are distractors or emotional shields. Customs that seek to reaffirm the idea of their little value. Thus, they erect a wall of defense against their own vulnerability.

But not everything is lost. In Vuela, we focus on the present and the decisions you can make now to build a better future. Therefore, here you can find a list of habits you should avoid to improve your self-esteem.

Disqualifying yourself

When you are the one who speaks ill of yourself, you are not doing yourself any good. It is not a sign of humility or recognition of your mistakes, it only does you harm.

Giving absolute credit to what others are saying

You may feel that others “know more,” or “understand better” or “have more authority” to say or do. Many times, you do not stop to evaluate if what is said or done by others is correct, it is enough that they are saying or doing it to accept it as true.

If you pause a little and think, you may discover that it is not so. Try to isolate your inner perception and give value to what you find.

Victimizing yourself

It is possible that, in the face of difficulties, your reaction is to feel sorry for yourself. You see yourself as an impotent child who must resign in face of negative situations, without being able to do anything about it.

You must discover that you have the resources to deal with adverse situations. That what’s important is not the bad things that happen, but how you react and receive them. If you stop feeling sorry for yourself and think about solutions, you will realize that even the worst times are also great opportunities.

Having unreachable expectations about yourself

He who has little self-love tends to see life in terms of ideal models. It is difficult for him to set modest goals and evaluate his achievements. He is always thinking that he must achieve more and what he achieved is not that important. It is an unconscious trap to always be indebted to yourself.

If you have no love for yourself, nothing you do will be enough or worth it. Your success will be nothing compared to the achievements of others.

But make no mistake, if you don’t start valuing yourself, it will not be easy for others to do so. Besides, how are you going to appreciate yourself, if you can’t applaud your own advances?

Remember that self-love is born within you and that these attitudes can harm it. No human being is perfect but we must love ourselves as we are, always seeking to be the best version of ourselves.